


god only knows where i’d be without you

by WhenIWasAYoungBoy



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - s01e6 Adjournment, F/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28507062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIWasAYoungBoy/pseuds/WhenIWasAYoungBoy
Summary: he asks you to come back to new york and there‘s a no on your lips but then you think of basement apartments and speed chess and blow-up mattresses and you‘re agreeing before you know what you‘re doing.orwhen benny asks beth to come back to new york after her defeat in paris, beth says yes
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	god only knows where i’d be without you

he asks you to come back to new york and you pause. there‘s a no on your lips, thoughts of your house and your failure and your mother‘s stock of alcohol twisting and shaping into that two letter word but then you think of basement apartments and speed chess and blow-up mattresses and you‘re agreeing before you know what you‘re doing. you can hear the smile in his voice as you hang up the phone and you feel the corners of your own lips twitch involuntarily up. 

part of you hopes, as you’re stepping off of the plane and into the terminal, that he won’t show up. that he’ll get caught up in something or change his mind and you can go home and steadily get drunk, drunker, drunkest. but he’s there, hands in his pockets and stupid hat on his head. his smile is careful and tentative and you‘re far, far too tired to even pretend to give one back so you just lift your hand in a wave and walk to his side, trying to hide the sway of your body from sleep deprivation and your hangover. 

the drive from the airport to the apartment is quiet. your pounding headache doesn‘t make you much for conversation and benny seems hesitant to mention anything to do with chess or drinking or russians so you sit unspeaking in his car with the radio on low. you think you might sleep, on and off, but you don’t really remember it and benny doesn’t bring it up so you can’t be sure. 

he offers you some aspirin and some water and his bed, even as your headache is already lessening in the windowless room. you still smile gratefully at him, tugging him with you when it looks like he’s going for the blow-up mattress. his gaze is steady as he follows you into his room and you roll your eyes at the warning you see in the lines of his face. you kick off your shoes and throw yourself onto the flat mattress and threadbare sheets, curling yourself up and breathing in the familiar scent of him. your smile turns pleased as you feel him lie beside you and the warm weight of his arm hesitantly drapes itself over you. you turn over and bury your face in his chest. he’s still fully dressed, you assume to deter you from making any advances. (you don’t bother mentioning that you’re too tired to even think about fucking him today. and probably tomorrow too, now that you think about it). 

as you drift off to sleep you can feel him watching you and you feel safe and warm and content. paris was a failure and you still feel embarrassed and humiliated over your defeat and part of you still hankers for your house and the ability to drink until you can’t remember your own name but the rest of you is glad that you said yes, is glad for benny and sobriety and this shitty basement apartment. 

and that’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> look..... I love them 
> 
> [tumblr](http://chiapet4357.tumblr.com/)   
>  [twitter](http://twitter.com/chiapet4357/)


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